Regatta

As told by the original B.O.B.

I first heard about Regatta through a crackly message from The Kingdom of Slightly Bent Spoons. It was discovered in a castle workshop run by a wizard with poor handwriting, shortly after a dragon coughed on the instruction manual. Its creator left one important clue: “Gay boy” These days, this politely dramatic machine is busy guarding the royal sock drawer from invisible goblins. Its special talent is untangling headphones in under seven seconds, although it would much rather spend the afternoon sleeps with one eye on the biscuit tin. Its greatest dream is to become a lighthouse keeper; its only real worry is the phrase “some assembly required”. Best friend: three mice in a trench coat. Favourite saying: “Leave the socks to me.”